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This is my Gravity Falls Side blog. Expect pinecest and grimdark Mabel.
Posted on 10th Sep at 7:04 PM, with 37 notes

Fandom: Gravity Falls

Pairing: Dipper x Mabel

Rating: PG

Prompt: Can’t Swim/Drowning

Author’s note: wow yeah so what is angst i don’t know. i just got home, remembered the prompts and started writing, so sorry if it’s not the best. enjoy i guess?

He had always been there for me. I knew that if I ever felt I couldn’t do it on my own, he’d be there holding my hands, keeping me afloat. I would panic if I were left alone, nobody there to keep me from going under. It was silly, never learning to swim properly. I couldn’t stand to. If I could swim, then I would lose just one more precious moment with him, and that was too much for me to bear. So I clung to him, the threat of drowning a just small price to pay at the time.

I would cry often. More often than I’d like to admit. Alone in sweater town when I knew there would be nobody to find and comfort me. It was wrong. I was wrong. I knew it wasn’t normal, loving my brother as much as I did. More than just as siblings or friends. I knew it would be impossible for him to love me back the same way, and it hurt. He was in love with Wendy, and it wasn’t hard to see why. She was tall, pretty, mature, an older woman. How could I compete? Silly, hyper, little Mabel. Who would take me seriously?

And then it happened. The best day of Dipper’s life. He had managed to work up the courage to ask Wendy out, and huge surprise, she said yes. Of course, throughout the whole thing, there I was, cheering him on. The supportive sister, always looking out for her brother. It shouldn’t have been that painful, seeing him so happy with her. But it was. And it made me realize just how hopeless I was, how ridiculous my feelings were. I never should have entertained the idea that maybe, just maybe, things could work out. That he would feel the same.

I smiled as often as I cried. A mask of happiness to keep away the questions whose answers I couldn’t possibly reveal. But nobody ever thought to question, and so nobody ever asked. It was better that way. I had time to think everything out, but Dipper had always been better at planning.

It was nearing the end of summer, and there were splotches of yellow among the numerous green leaves adorning the trees. I excused myself after supper, making up some lie about going to a friend’s house, and made my way to the lake. I had made up my mind. He had always been there for me, and part of me thought that he always would be. I entered the water, walking towards the small waves rushing up against my waist, and prayed silently that he would be there to keep me safe, just like every other time. I began crying as felt the coldness of the water seep into my skin, burrowing into my bones. I was quiet as the tears rolled down my face, not breaking my smile. I knew he wouldn’t come. Yet my hope lasted, even after the water rose above my head and my body struggled to reach the surface. My lungs burned and my skin felt like ice, and still I waited. Waited for him, waited for death. Slowly my vision slipped away as my tears mixed with the lake water, the last of my breath long gone. And as my consciousness faded, I could have sworn I felt his warm hands wrap around mine one last time.

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